Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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