My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
