the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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