So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
