remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
