There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
