Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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