Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm experimenting with sincerity
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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