Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
please come you make the beer taste better
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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