This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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