i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
