Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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