I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize