i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
