it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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