Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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