Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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