can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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