I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize