i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
