I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
