didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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