Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
