Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize