well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My Higher Power is John Stamos
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
