hotel room ftw
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
