Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
