The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Your penis caused this!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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