Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
