What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize