You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize