i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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