any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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