If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize