Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
