Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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