I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
