what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
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