She's JV to your varsity
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
