I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
