just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize