Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
