all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
