Sry I called you an 8
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
