I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
