I'm gonna have a badass scar
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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