I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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