you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
