hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
