I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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