we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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