So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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