ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize