I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
someone threw a dead crab at me
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
