And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
