I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
