Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
