i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize