You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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