Dual....:-)
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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