Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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