Yo dont text me then not text me
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Randomize