And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
