I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
