Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
