I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize