I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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