wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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