Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
