Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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