I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
