i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
