they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
