Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
