He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
