I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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