conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
