you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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