Nicole vs. Life
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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