Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
