Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize