p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
